


Love and Hate are Both Four Letter Words

by strangeandwonderfulconcepts



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-02-26 19:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandwonderfulconcepts/pseuds/strangeandwonderfulconcepts
Summary: You and Roger have been friends for years. When Roger starts dating Lila, who isn't as sweet as she seems, you realize you might have to tell him how you really feel.





	1. The Burn is How You Know It's Working

Her name was Lila and you hated the way it rolled off Roger’s tongue. How the last syllable seemed to waver in the air as he leaned against the bar, smiling at her. She twirled a strand of his long blonde hair around her finger, pulling his face closer to her’s and you had to look away.  


More than how you hated the way her name sounded in his mouth, you hated that you _hated_ it. There was no justifiable reason for you to be jealous. Roger wasn’t your boyfriend. He was your best friend just as he had been for the past decade. In the last ten years, you’d seen a number of girls come and go and it had never made your heart twist with grief.

When had he become more to you? For the last month, that question had been floating around your brain like an invasive species. Permeating your thoughts, your interactions with Roger. He didn’t seem to notice anything was different, but your whole world was turned upside down. Every time he looked at you, you could feel it all the way to your core. His friendly, thoughtless touches made you shudder with need and his words, which you’d always valued, suddenly were pins and needles under your skin, making you itch with desire.

You hated him almost as much as you hated her.

“You should see the look on your face.”

Freddie’s voice and hand on your shoulder made you turn. His brown eyes were warm as he took you in and you didn’t care for the sympathetic glint in them. Where Roger seemed to be blind to your infatuation, Freddie saw through you like cellophane. 

“I have no idea what you mean,” You frowned.

“Don’t be rude.”

Freddie rolled his eyes and sat beside you at the bar, his fingers toying with the straw in his drink. 

“You’ve been miserable all night. I don’t know why you do it to yourself,” He added. 

You huffed out a sigh in defeat because he was right. 

“Because he’s my friend and he asked me to be here.”

“Mmm. He asked her to be here too.”

You flinched. 

“I’m just being a good friend,” You mumbled and finished the rest of your drink, more melted ice than vodka now. 

“A good friend would tell him the truth about that brute of a girlfriend,” Freddie eyed you.

“I could say the same,” You countered. 

“Not my place.”

“You’re his friend too, Fred!”

“But I’m not in love with him.”

“You-I-what-no-I-”

“Words, darling, try and use them.”

“Fuck you.”

“Much better.”

You glared at him and he only gave you a wide, Freddie-smile. 

“He’s my best friend, Fred.”

“I know.”

“It would kill me to lose him.”

Your voice was soft and you couldn’t quite meet Freddie’s gaze, instead looking at your chipped fingernail polish. Even saying the words out loud sent your heart hammering in your chest. Since grade school you and Roger were inseparable. Sure, you’d had to grow up and go to university. He got famous and traveled. You got a job and stayed at home. Until he called you and said he couldn’t miss you a moment longer and then you were by his side in the tour bus playing scrabble. 

_Attached at the hip_ , your mother would say.

_Can’t have one without the other_ , Roger’s mother would chuckle in agreement. 

“You’ve already lost him,” Freddie’s finger was gentle on your chin as he lifted it. “Just not the way you’re thinking.”

“Fred, I-”

“He’s different with her. We can all see that,” Freddie interrupted. “And it’s not a good different.”

You swallowed around the lump in your throat. So, you weren’t the only one who had noticed. Ever since Roger had started dating Lila, you’d seen the changes in him. Constantly deferring to her, missing band rehearsals more frequently. Hanging out with you less. You’d worried it was your newfound feelings for Roger that had made you obsess over those things.  

“He’s happy,” You mumbled and raised your glass to your lips. You made a noise of discontent when you found it empty and the bartender nowhere in sight. 

“Bullshit.”

“He is, Fred,” Your voice was too loud but you couldn’t help it. You were tipsy and your heart hurt and you could see Roger’s mouth on Lila’s out of the corner of your eye. 

“He says he is.”

“If he says he is, then who am I to disagree?” You hissed. 

“Because you’re his best friend. And it’s your job to knock some sense into him,” Freddie was unbothered by your venom, staring at you evenly as he took a sip of his drink.

Freddie was right and in that moment, you hated him too. 

“Fuck,” You blew out a breath and shoved a hand through your hair. Sitting back in your seat, you looked over at the happy couple. Lila was gripping Roger’s jean jacket tightly, keeping him close to her as he talked. His eyes shifted for a moment and caught yours. You desperately tried to ignore the way your heart squeezed as a wide grin spread across his face. He looked like he was about to say something when Lila jerked his jacket so that he was facing back toward her. 

You frowned. Pushy little thing. 

After a moment, Roger pulled out of her grasp and walked over to where you and Freddie sat. You didn’t miss Lila’s scowl. 

“Hello, lovie,” Roger pressed a kiss to your temple and warmth spread from the inside out at his words. The nickname was nothing new. Only your reaction to it. 

“Hey, Rog,” You greeted, fingers tightening on the glass. 

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Roger’s smile was warm and bright as he looked down at you. 

No. You watched the man you were in love with ignore you most of the evening and play tonsil hockey with his girlfriend.

“Yeah, I had fun!”

“Good, good!” 

“Hey, Rog, I was actually wondering if we might be able to chat,” You blurted in a moment of bravery. 

“We were just about to head out,” Roger’s face fell a little as he looked over at Lila who already had her coat on was tapping her painted fingernails on the counter. 

“Oh, okay,” You bit your lip in an effort not to frown. 

Roger’s lips pressed to your forehead again and you closed your eyes for a brief moment. 

“We’re still on for Saturday, yeah?” He asked, walking backwards toward Lila and the door. 

You nodded and smiled at him, swallowing your unspoken words.

“It’s a date,” Roger winked and turned around, wrapping an arm around Lila’s shoulders and leading them out of the bar. 

“You wish,” Freddie mumbled under his breath.

Your head snapped to look at him.

“Sometimes, you are downright unbearable,” You groaned and let your head fall onto the tops of your arms. 

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Freddie squeezed your shoulder affectionately. 

“No, I know,” You moaned into the bar top. “I just hate it.”

“If it’s any consolation, the brunette at five o’clock has been staring at your ass for the last hour.”

You picked your head up a little.

“Really?”

“Mhhmm.”

You could use a distraction. In fact, the ache in your chest and the vodka in your veins was telling you that a distraction was _exactly_ what you needed. You sat up slowly, arching your back purposefully. 

You turned your head to the side and found the man Freddie was talking about immediately. He wasn’t bothering to hide his stare and smirked when your gaze met his. You flashed him a smile. 

Why was it always easy with the ones you don’t really want?

 ____________

His hands were too tight on your waist and his kisses were sloppy, but he didn’t mind when you pulled lightly at his hair and pressed him into the door. He moaned into your mouth as your hips jutted against his, desperate.

What did Roger’s moans sound like?

Did he taste like he smelled? Sweet with the hint of something deeper, mixed with nicotine. 

Would his lips be soft?

Your shirt was over your head and the stranger’s pants came off by the time your back hit the couch. He was hard and rubbing against you in a hurried motion. 

Would Roger take his time?

Or would he be just as frenzied to feel your skin against his?

His lips were at your neck, all teeth and you rolled your eyes as he whined into your ear. His mouth moved lower and finally you felt a shiver roll up your spine as he mouthed where your neck met your shoulder. 

“God, Roger.”

The stranger froze and embarrassment flashed through your body like a heat wave. Sure, the two of you were using each other for nothing more than some fun, but he didn’t quite deserve that. 

“That wouldn’t happen to be the blonde at the bar that you were staring at most of the evening, would it?”

You clapped a hand over your eyes and nodded. You felt him shift away and off the couch and heard the tell-tale noise of a belt. 

“I’m sorry,” You offered lamely. 

“Me too,” He laughed softly. “He’s a lucky guy.”

You gave him a friendly smile.

“Thanks.”

You pulled your shirt on as you walked him to the door and opened it for him. He paused in the doorway and looked at you for a moment, opening his mouth to speak. You tilted your head curiously and then he shook his own in answer. 

“Good night.”

“Night.”

____________

The week dragged on as you waited for Saturday. You and Roger had a standing lunch reservation with the café a few blocks from your apartment. By Friday night, you were setting your alarm for the morning and it was only five pm. Your dinner was defrosting in the microwave and the TV played quietly in the living room. 

You jumped when the phone rang and reached for it distractedly, eyes still on the TV. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, lovie.”

Fuck. No man’s voice should have such an intense effect on you, but two words and you could feel heat pooling low in your stomach. 

“Hi, Roger.”

“What’re you up to?”

Your brain searched quickly for a lie and then blanked as guilt flooded your system. Before your feelings for Roger got messy, you wouldn’t have thought twice about telling him the truth. There was nothing wrong about being home and making a microwave dinner on a Friday night. 

Unless the man you were in love with had a girlfriend that you knew would never be in the same situation. She probably lounged around in French lingerie drinking champagne and eating bonbons with delicate fingers on her Friday nights.

“I was just about to grab dinner. How about you?” You frowned into the receiver. 

“Oh, Lila and I were headed out to the movies.”

Or that. That’s what she did with her Friday nights. 

“Fun!” You scowled, grateful that he couldn’t see you. 

“Yeah, should be good. Anyway, I was calling about tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait,” Your tone improved at the mention of your lunch “date”. 

“About that, I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel.”

You stopped picking at your fingernail polish as your lips pressed together in a firm line.

“What do you mean?”

“I had something come up.”

“Oh, really?” You didn’t bother to hide the disapproval in your voice. 

“Yeah.”

“Care to share why you’re standing up your best friend?”

“I’m not standing you up! I’m calling, aren’t I?” You could hear the annoyance in Roger’s tone, but you were too angry to care. 

In the last couple of years, this lunch date was the one time that you guys were guaranteed to see each other. You never cancelled except for emergencies. Or in Roger’s case, being out of the country for an extended period of time. It had become necessary once real life started getting in the way of the two of you hanging out. 

“Well, you better have a good reason for cancelling,” You pushed. 

“Well, Lila-”

“Of course,” You muttered.

“What was that?”

You grimaced. 

“Nothing. Lila?”

“Lila wants to go shopping.”

“What?”

“Lila wants to-”

“No, I heard you, I just couldn’t believe that I heard correctly,” You huffed. “Isn’t the mall open, I don’t know, several other hours throughout the day that aren’t during our lunch plans?”

“The timing just works best then. She’s got plans later tomorrow and I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

You could hear the genuineness in his voice and it eased a little of the pain in your chest that had started about the same time the conversation had. Still, he sounded nervous, his words all rushed together. 

“You better,” You conceded, sighing. 

“I will.”

“Roger,” You twirled the phone cord around your finger as you paused, searching for the right words. 

“Yeah, love?”

“Do you want to go-I mean, is she making you-oh, never mind,” You blew out a breath and pinched your eyes shut, willing your heart to return to its normal rhythm. 

“What’re you trying to say?” Roger asked with a laugh, but you heard the twinge of annoyance in his words.

“Nothing, Rog.”

“Alright, well, we’re headed out, but we’ll talk soon, yeah?”

“Yeah, talk soon.”

You dropped the phone into its cradle and reached for your wine glass. Disappointment and resentment sat heavy on your chest and the sweet taste of the Moscato did nothing to dissuade it, so you picked up the phone again.

“Freddie, what’re you up to tonight?”

“It’s a Friday night, what do you think?”

“I think I need a drink.”

“Door’s open, dear.”

____________  


You could hear the party before you opened the door. Music blared along with the hum of the crowd as you walked in. You were immediately jostled by a couple trying to make their way into the living room and you had to take a steadying breath and remind yourself that this was exactly what you were looking for. 

Noise. And a lot of it. So you couldn’t hear the voice in your head, reminding you how crushed you were that Roger had picked Lila over you and the fact that you still hadn’t told Roger the truth. About him and Lila or how you felt about him. 

It was a lot of thoughts. It required a lot of noise.

There was no lack of that at Freddie’s. 

You tried to loosen your hands as well as drop your shoulders to look relaxed as you swam through the crowd, dodging wide-armed dancers and sloppy drunks. You made it to the kitchen unscathed and found vodka quickly. You poured yourself a glass and then drank it, flinching as it burned the whole way down and settled in your stomach.

Still too noisy.

Another shot, this time you didn’t bother with the club soda. 

The voice in your head, the careful and overthinking one, was quieter now. 

You smiled and patted the bottle of vodka fondly. 

“Good job,” You nodded.

“Hey, you made it!”

Loud. Too loud.

Freddie’s arms were too warm as they wrapped around you, but you settled into his embrace. 

“You still need that drink?” He grinned, pulling away and reaching for the bottle that you’d just set down. 

“You bet,” You returned his smile easily and watched as he poured each of you a shot. 

“This is Ted,” Freddie nodded over his shoulder to the man with long, thick hair that went to his shoulders. 

“Hi, Ted,” You flashed him a grin before you and Freddie downed your shots. 

“Hi,” He smiled shyly, fingers thrown up in a half-wave.  

Freddie took that hand in his and began to lead them to the living room. 

“We’re going to dance, do you-”

“We are?” Ted interrupted. 

“We are. Did you want to join us?” Freddie looked to you while Ted looked at him. 

“Maybe in a minute,” You nodded and it made your head swim. But at least the voice was quiet. 

“What’re you waiting for, lovie? We all know you’ve got the best moves.”

Your smile froze on your face as Roger’s voice filled the kitchen. You watched as Freddie’s eyebrows rose, but he did nothing to act as a shield between your tipsy-self and Roger as he and Ted fled the kitchen. 

Bastard.

You turned on your heel and nearly came nose-to-chin with Roger. He rest his hands on your bare shoulders to steady you and there was already a teasing glint in his eye as he looked you over. 

“Start the party without me?” He asked, thumbs brushing over your skin.  

You nodded, shaking your head animatedly. He was so damn close you could see the blonde hairs of his five o’clock shadow along his neck and the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

It was a dumb question, sure. But it was all your intoxicated brain could manage at the moment. 

“Snuck out for a bit, thought I’d come for a drink or two. Or by the looks of you, maybe three or four,” Roger grinned, dropping his hands from you to start mixing his own alcohol. 

“Snuck out?” You raised an eyebrow. 

Roger’s hands paused on the bourbon and he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. 

“Well, Lila and I got home from the movie and she was too tired to go out, but I wanted to stop by.”

Your face didn’t change from confused so he kept talking.

“And so I waited till she fell asleep and then I left.”

You bit your lip and suddenly wished you were sober. The voice in your head was loud, but at least it was a quick-thinker. 

“Why didn’t you just tell her that you were going out?” You tilted your head to the side to try and see him better. He had a terrible poker face. And he knew it, shifting away from you and focusing on his drink. 

“She didn’t want to go out.”

You rolled your eyes.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t.”

“I know,” Roger grinned. “That’s why I’m here.”

“But,” You sighed and closed your eyes. “You had to sneak out.”

“It’s not a big deal. Here, drink,” Roger pressed something brown topped with bitters into your hand. 

You sipped at it and spluttered. 

“I hate bourbon,” You groaned. “And I had a point.”

“I’m sure you did,” Roger clinked his glass against yours and downed most of its contents in one-go. You couldn’t help but smile at him when he was looking at you with his bright blue eyes and lips spread wide in a smile. 

“Do you remember New Year’s?” He asked suddenly.

You snorted.

“I try not to.”

“That was a great party!” Roger argued. 

“I still can’t stand the smell of lemons,” You scrunched your nose, prompting Roger to poke it gently with the tip of his finger. You giggled.

“You should’ve known lemonade and vodka was a bad idea,” Roger laughed and shook his head, his long blonde hair following the motion. Your fingers twitched at your side, suddenly desperate to bury themselves in it. 

“It just tastes so sweet,” You whined. “Can’t even taste the vodka.”

“But the burn is how you know it’s working,” Roger countered. 

You could only nod in agreement. Roger’s mouth was as fast as his hands when he drummed, your quick-witted blonde boy.

“That night wasn’t all that terrible,” You conceded. “I’ll never forget that firework show.”

“That was fun wasn’t it?” Roger pulled himself onto the kitchen counter, legs swinging back and forth.

“Until the security guard caught us on the roof,” You laughed. 

“What better way to begin the new year than with a verbal threat from your land lord,” Roger chuckled. 

“He still grumbles every time I run into him that we could’ve broken our necks up there,” You shook your head. 

It had been a great night that you wouldn’t change for anything. The two of you warm from booze and the blanket spread over your laps. Hands intertwined as you counted in the New Year and watched the sky light up with fireworks. 

_Cheers, lovie,_ Roger whispered, kissing your cheek fondly before turning back and looking up at the display. 

_Happy New Year, Rog._

“One dance and then I should probably go,” Roger said, sliding off of the counter to stand next to you. You scowled. 

“So, you can sneak back in?”

Roger paused and looked at you, his eyes searching your face. 

“Are you upset about lunch? You’re being odd,” He said. 

Oh no. You were too drunk for this conversation. You needed to be clearheaded and less emotional if you were going to tell him that his girlfriend was terrible and no one liked her. 

“What did you say?” Roger’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“Shit.”

You rubbed your hands over your face

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” 

“That doesn’t change that you were thinking it,” Roger’s voice rose in anger and your heartrate doubled. Roger never raised his voice. 

“I-just-she. I don’t like her,” You blurted. 

“What?”

You started pacing on the tile of the kitchen, not able to look at his face anymore. 

“You’re different with her. And she’s a piece of work.”

“Jesus. Tell me how you really feel,” Roger frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I’m sorry, Roger,” You shrugged helplessly. “As your best friend, it’s my job to tell you.”

Roger stared at you, fingers tapping along his folded arms. 

“So, you don’t like her? That’s your deal?”

You nodded. 

“And you think that gives you the right to tell me that I’m ‘different’ and that she’s a ‘piece of work’?” Roger held up his fingers in air-quotes. 

“I-well.”

“Did I ever tell you that you were annoying when you were dating Mark? He was terribly invested in football and I had to listen to you whine and complain about him all the while buying jerseys so the two of you would match?” Roger took a step toward you, finger pointing accusingly. 

“No,” You let out a heavy breath. 

“Or how about that bloke you met at karaoke night? Did I tell you how many times he slipped me his demo while the three of us were out?”

“Roger, I’m sorry, this wasn’t the right-” You started.

“No, I didn’t tell you, even though I’m your best friend. You know why? Because they made you happy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And you know what? Lila makes me happy,” Roger was barely a foot from you now, his chest heaving with emotion. 

“I didn’t know,” You said softly. “It just seemed like I should say something. She’s not good for you, Roger.”

“How do you know what’s good for me?” Roger demanded. 

“I’m your best friend,” You reached out for his hand but he took a step back.

“Then, why don’t you start acting like it?”

“Roger,” You let out a breath in surprise.

“You’re my best friend so that means supporting me, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, and it also means telling you when you’re being an idiot. Which you are.”

There! The voice was back in your head and was full of opinions. Which your tipsy mouth was more than willing to share with Roger. 

“She’s controlling and manipulative. I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Jesus, Roger, you had to sneak out tonight to come and see your friends. You cancelled on me tomorr-”

“For fuck’s sake, it was a lunch, not the end of the world. So what if I’d rather spend my Saturday with my girlfriend than with you!” Roger threw his hands up in the air. 

You took a step back, your hips knocking into the counter.

“Fuck you, Roger.”

You pushed yourself away and strode out of the kitchen, vodka and anger fueling your quick movements. Shoving your shoulders against the crowd, you made it through the living room and out the front door much quicker than on your way in. You could hear Roger calling your name, but you didn’t turn around.

The cool air of the outside hit your overheated skin and you gasped as you raced down the front steps. Taxi. You needed a taxi. Probably be more likely to catch one a few blocks away, closer into the city. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself and trudged forward on the sidewalk. 

“Is it a crime to want to spend time with my girlfriend?” You heard Roger’s voice much closer now and you risked a glance over your shoulder. He was a few paces behind you, hands shoved into his pockets. 

“Only when she’s a poisonous bitch.” 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous,” Roger threw the words at you and it was enough to make you pause. Only for a moment and then you pushed forward. But it was enough for Roger to catch up and gently take your elbow, spinning you around to face him. 

“Well, I’m not,” You bit your lip. “Why the hell would I be jealous of her and her moody, arrogant, asshole of a boyfriend?”

It seemed for the first time that night, Roger was speechless.

And in that moment, you hated the quiet.


	2. Chapter 2

In over a decade of friendship, you and Roger had more than your fair share of fights. In grade school over what band posters to put up in the tree house in your backyard and what you were dressing up as for Halloween. As you got older, the fights grew less frequent and you’d had your moments. But nothing like this.

Not this painfully cold silence that continued to stretch out between the two of you. You had never spent so much time staring at your phone, praying it would ring. And then promptly wondering if it was you that should make the call. 

It was two weeks and two missed lunch dates later, that you finally gave in and picked up the phone. 

It rang until you got his answering machine and you debated whether or not you were going to leave a message until it was too late and you heard the beep. 

“Hey, Roger, it’s me. I’m just-well-I’m trying to find the right words. I miss you. And my eyes are tired from looking at my phone and wishing you’d call. I miss you. Did I say that already? I think I did. But it’s true. I do. And I’m sorry for saying the things I did the way I did. Will you call me back, Rog? I just. I need to talk to you.”

You hung up and slumped against the counter, groaning out loud even though there was no one else to hear it. 

The phone rang. “Roger?” You answered, scrambling to press the phone to your ear.

“No, darling. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Never disappointing to hear from you, Fred,” You told him even as tears pricked at your eyes. 

“You’re very nearly as terrible of a liar as Roger,” Freddie chuckled. 

“Has he,” You blew out a breath. “Has he said anything?”

“You mean besides the non-committal grunts that we get between scowls and angry banging on drums?”

You almost laughed at Freddie’s description. It wasn’t surprising to hear; Roger didn’t get worked up a lot, but when he did, it was an extended process. 

“Sounds like he’s working his way up to the quiet and brooding phase,” You told Freddie.

“Ah, yes. Well, I’ll take it over loud and destructive.”

Your soft laugh melted into a sigh. You would take him any way if it meant that he was there. It was impossible not to be reminded of the friend you were missing so desperately. Queen was on the radio constantly, no matter how often you switched the station. 

Even your apartment was covered in reminders, from the framed photo on your coffee table of the two of you at Roger’s first gig to the fake plant in the corner that he bought you after you killed three ferns in one spring.

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?”

“What? Sorry, Fred. What were you saying?” Your hand tightened on the lip of the kitchen counter in an effort to ground yourself in the here and now. 

“I was asking if you wanted to join Ted and me for lunch.”

“Oh. That’s so nice of you to offer, but I don’t-”

“Enough wallowing on your own in that apartment. Come wallow and eat a burger while listening to Ted talk about his latest work and you’ll feel much better.”

_____________

“So, they commissioned me for the statue in the park,” Ted finished, happily chewing on a French fry. He was quiet at the beginning of the lunch, just as shy as the night you met him.

And then Freddie asked him to talk about his art. 

The change in Ted was instant. He leaned forward excitedly and his whole face lit up as he talked about his latest project. Freddie was right of course. It made your wallowing much more enjoyable to watch Ted’s enthusiastic French fry waving rather than curled up on your couch. 

“Sorry, I’m talking a lot,” Ted flushed. 

“Never apologize for being excited about something, darling,” Freddie flashed him a grin and rest his hand on Ted’s arm. 

You smiled as the two of them got distracted in each other for a moment. That was how a relationship should be. Gentle touches and longing looks. 

You suddenly thought of Lila and Roger in the bar. Nothing about Lila was gentle and the looks she gave Roger were far from longing. They were possessive. Cold. 

“Are they still together?” You asked suddenly. Freddie looked up at you and nodded. 

“She was just at the studio yesterday.”

You bit your lip, lost in thought.

“Terribly whiny thing. Couldn’t be without Roger’s attention for a moment,” Freddie continued. “She’s incredibly possessive. You should’ve seen the way she chewed him out for talking to the receptionist at the studio. Talking, not flirting.”

“Fred,” You said seriously, reaching out your hand to rest it on his. “You have to tell him that’s how you feel. That it’s not right for her to do that to him.” 

“It’s not my-”

“It is, Fred! Because I did my part and it cost me everything. And even though my best friend is being a total idiot and refusing to speak to me, he still doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Freddie sighed. 

“I went to our lunch place on Saturday,” You picked at your nails. “It was stupid. I should’ve known he wasn’t going to be there.”

“Aw, darling.”

You shrugged even as you frowned.

“I left him a voicemail. I don’t know what else I can do. Fuck, I don’t even know if I should be the one reaching out,” You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. 

“Have you gone by his apartment?” Ted asked.

“I, um, I was too afraid that she might be there,” You looked away as both men stared at you with pity in their eyes. 

After a moment of tense silence, Freddie spoke.

“I foresee a lot of groveling in both of your futures.”

You shot him the middle finger before sitting up again, leaning forward. 

“Oh, you’re being serious now,” Freddie said and leaned toward you too. 

“You have to tell him. Please.”

Freddie’s face fell a little but he nodded. 

“I will. I promise.”

_____________

The next day, halfway through a bottle of wine and a bowl of cereal, there was a knock on your door. Wondering if Freddie was stopping in to check on you, you threw the door open without hesitation. 

Lila stood there in a fur coat that you knew was Roger’s and not much else. 

For a brief moment, you considered shutting the door again. 

But then her long legs glided into your apartment uninvited, long dark hair thrown over her shoulder in a cloud of overpowering perfume. You scrunched your nose in distaste and tried to clear your face as she turned around.

“Nice place.”

Her tone disagreed. 

“Thanks. Can I help you?” You crossed your arms. The movement did nothing to stop the pain in your chest as you realized that Roger wasn’t about to follow her in. 

“Actually, I think I can help you,” Lila folded herself onto your couch, arms spread wide across the top of it. You walked across the rug and sat on the edge of the chair across from her. 

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow even as your mouth curved in doubt. 

“Yeah, after Roger and I heard your message on the answering machine, I thought it might be best that I stop by.”

Your skin turned to ice as the adrenaline swept through you. She’d heard the message. Roger had heard the message. And yet, it was Lila sitting across from you.  You tried to clear your throat, suddenly finding it dry. With perfectly manicured fingernails, Lila handed you your wine glass. 

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. So, I’ll be honest about why I’m here. I’ve been in your shoes before and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

_Oh god._

“Roger and I have had little tiffs before. We’ll be just fine,” You brushed it off with a laugh and a sip of wine. Despite the sweetness of the drink, it tasted bitter on your tongue. 

“Yeah, but you’ve never been in love with him before. Or at least not so obvious about it,” Lila tilted her head to the side as she spoke. 

_Oh dear fucking god._

“I’m not in love with Roger,” You told her flatly, the words tumbling out of your mouth. Freddie was right. You were a terrible liar. 

The corners of Lila’s mouth turned up, but it wasn’t what most people would consider a smile. It was colder. Cruel. 

“It’s cute,” She rest her chin in her palm. “But Roger wanted me to be clear that he doesn’t want the same thing.” 

Your breath left your chest in a painful rush. Your fingernails bit into your palm as her words circled your brain over and over. _He doesn’t want the same thing. He doesn’t want the same thing. He doesn’t want me._

“I offered to come and see you,” Lila continued like she hadn’t just broken your heart in less than ten syllables. “I thought it might be easier. You know, girl to girl.”

“I’m not in love with Roger,” You repeated. It was all you could muster. Maybe if you kept saying it, it would suddenly become true. 

Lila leaned forward on the couch much like a predator leans in closer to its prey. 

“Good. Because he certainly doesn’t love you.”

Ouch.

“And he loves you?”

The voice in your head that was smarter than the rest of your brain cells combined made a sudden reappearance and you and Lila both looked shocked by your words. 

“Yes,” Lila’s tone was clipped and she leaned back into the couch again, eyes on you. 

“You don’t deserve him,” You whispered. 

“And yet, I’m going to leave here and go straight to his apartment. And you know what? He’s going to be so excited to see me. He’s going to kiss me hello and ask me how my day was. And I’ll tell him that the annoying girl from grade school finally got the picture and wouldn’t be bothering him anymore.”

This time the voice in your head was quiet too. 

Lila stood and walked toward the door, her shoes painfully loud on the floor in what had become a defeated silence. She paused as she turned the door handle, looking at you with a triumphant gleam in her eye. 

“Roger and I think it would be best if you give us some space for now. Let the air clear,” She bared her teeth in that phony smile. “They say time heals all wounds, right _lovie_?”


	3. You're My Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Roger finally admit your feelings for each other.

You unplugged the phone after the second day. You were sick of hearing it ring. You didn’t have it in you to listen to Freddie’s pity or his pleas to come out with him and Ted. You wanted to wallow alone. It was the least you deserved.

A ratty t-shirt and fuzzy sweatpants were essential for a proper wallow. You hadn’t washed your hair yet today and the ice cream was melting on your coffee table, leaving a ring on the glass.

_He doesn’t want the same thing._

You took a sip of wine and your mouth puckered as the taste mixed with the ice cream. The news was on TV, but you weren’t paying attention to the bulletins.

_He certainly doesn’t love you._

You laid down sideways on the couch, closing your eyes because they were stinging with the unshed tears. You felt them slide onto your cheeks and you took a steadying breath. You wrapped your arms around yourself and tried to ignore the way your heart pressed into your ribs. Wanting. Aching. Longing.

“This is pathetic,” You laughed at yourself and sat up again, rubbing your eyes. And then you caught sight of the fake plant in the corner of the living room and this time you couldn’t help the tears.

“Stupid blonde asshole,” You threw yourself back down on the couch and curled up. You stared at the TV until your vision was blurry and you fell asleep.

You woke up when someone gently touched your cheek. You blinked a couple of times, trying to wake up, as the weight of a blanket covered your shoulders.

“You should really change where you hide your key.”

You looked up to where Roger had just finished tucking the blanket around you. Once you met his eyes, he smiled and dropped to his knees in front of you.

“Why won’t you answer my calls?”

“You’re in my apartment,” Your voice was hoarse and Roger tilted his head to the side.

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t answer my calls.”

Your brain hurt. Why was he calling? Why was he in your apartment? What the fuck was going on?

“Oh god,” You moaned and put your head in your hands.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m dreaming,” You cried.

“You’re not dreaming, lovie. Just very sleepy and from the looks of it, maybe hungover,” Roger laughed softly and moved to brush your hair out of your face.

“Don’t,” You shrunk away from his hand. “Don’t call me that and don’t touch me.”

You were wide awake now as you pushed off the couch and stepped away. You took a deep breath as Roger’s face fell and the crease between his eyebrows deepened. Your fingers twitched at your side.

“Why are you here?” You asked, trying to look anywhere but at him. The realization that this was real and that Roger was in your apartment was like a bucket of cold water poured over your skin.

“Why did you think this was a dream?” The hurt in Roger’s voice was nearly masked by the confusion but you heard it. And desperately tried to ignore the way it sliced into you.

“I asked first,” You huffed.

“You’ve been using that logic since we were twelve and I still say it’s faulty.”

You simply stared at him and waited.

“I’m here because you haven’t been answering my calls,” Roger rolled his eyes.

“Why were you calling?” Your nails bit into your palms as your heart continued to race. His face was flushed and his shirt half-buttoned. He looked like he belonged there in your living room with the stupid fucking plant and a sad puppy-dog face.

“I needed to talk to you,” Roger stood and stepped toward you, but stopped when you backed away.

“About?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Jesus, you’re really not making this easy, you know?” Roger rubbed the back of his neck.

“Why would I want to make you ending our friendship easy on you?” You snapped, pacing across the wooden floor.

“You-what? What?” Roger’s blue eyes widened.

“When Lila dropped in, she made it very-”

“Wait, back up,” Roger held up a hand. “Lila came here?”

You stopped pacing and stared hard at Roger.

“Why do you seem surprised by that?”

“Why would she come here?”

“She said,” You faltered. “She said that we could use some space, some time.”

_That you certainly didn’t love me._

“Because of our fight? We’ve had fights before, lovie, and always come out on the other side,” Roger’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile.

“Don’t call me that,” You shook your head.

There was nothing masking the hurt in Roger’s face now and you had to turn around, unable to face him a moment longer.

“Not because of the fight. You know why, Roger, and I don’t want to talk about it,” Your voice broke. “I _can’t_ talk about it with you.

“You’ve got to help me here, lov-,” Roger cut himself off and sighed heavily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Lila told me the truth, Roger!” You whipped around. “She told me that you know how I feel and you don’t feel the same.”

The sudden silence in the room was suffocating. You could hardly breathe. Your chest ached from unshed tears and the weight of your heart cracking beneath your sternum. Roger was still staring at you with eyes far too big and blue, mouth frowning deeply.

“And how is it that I’m supposed to not feel?” Roger’s voice was high with emotion.

You bit your lip and watched as Roger took a step closer.

“You don’t,” You had to take another breath to finish. “You don’t love me.”

“Well, that’s horseshit if I’ve ever heard it.”

“What?” You whispered.

Roger moved closer.

“You know I love you,” Roger’s voice was equally soft as the two of you hovered just out of reach from one another.

You shook your head and felt the tears fall onto your cheeks.

“Not in that way, Rog. Not like a friend,” Your voice shook, but your eyes didn’t leave his.

“I love you,” He said.

“Don’t,” You held up a hand. “I don’t want your pity.”

“Good, because you don’t have it.”

You opened your mouth, but no words came out.

“I love you,” Roger repeated.

“Stop saying that!”

“I won’t. I mean it. I love you,” Roger finally closed the distance and rest his hands on your shoulders, his eyes desperately searching your face.

“Roger.”

“Why are you having such a hard time believing it? Freddie told me about the voicemail and I really did think you sounded jealous after the party and I thought that,” Roger paused. “I thought you felt the same.”

Your brain was short-circuiting.   _He certainly doesn’t love you._

“But Lila said-”

“Fuck, forget what Lila said. She’s a lying conniving devil of a woman.”

“Well, I’m not going to disagree, but I did try to tell you that a few weeks ago and you bit my head off,” You narrowed your eyes at Roger.

His hands tightened on your shoulders.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“So, what’s changed?” You put your hands on your hips and tried to ignore the fact that the warmth of Roger’s hands was seeping into the t-shirt you wore and relaxing you without even trying.

“Would you believe me if I said nothing and everything?” Roger grinned brightly.

You groaned.

“Roger.”

“Sorry. What changed was Freddie told me about the voicemail. A voicemail I never got,” Roger said pointedly.

“But Lila-” You cut yourself off when Roger looked at you and you sighed.

“She deleted the voicemail. I had no clue what Fred was going on about until I asked Lila about it,” Roger explained.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Roger raised a hand slowly, and brushed a tentative thumb over your cheek. “After I confronted her about it, things went downhill. It seems she hasn’t been honest about a lot of things.”

“I’m sorry,” You hated Lila, but you hated the fact that she hurt Roger more.

You couldn’t help but lean into his touch as his fingers lingered on your skin.

“Not as sorry as I am. It was a mistake,” Roger sighed. “ _She_ was a mistake.”

Your heart clung to one word.

“Was?”

“Yes.”

“The two of you?”

“Are done,” He nodded in confirmation.

There was a pause as the two of you looked at each other.

“I love you,” Roger said it slowly this time.

You closed your eyes, trying desperately to let the words sink in.

“If this really is a dream, I’m going to be so pissed,” You breathed.

“Not a dream, though I am flattered,” Roger’s chuckle was like scotch, you could feel the heat of it smooth over your skin. What was it that he had told you once? The burn was how you know it’s working. You decided then that you didn’t mind that kind of heat.

“I thought you didn’t want to be friends anymore, let alone love me,” You said softly, looking at him.

“Lovie,” Roger chided. “How could you ever think that?”

“A certain devil woman,” You grimaced.

For the first time that night, Roger looked cross.

“I can’t believe she came over here,” His frown returned. This time you couldn’t help but reach up and trace it, fingertips light over his lips.

“I think the people in the next flat could hear my heart break that day,” You gave him a sad smile.

“I should go give her a piece of my mind. She had no right to come see you. Tell you those lies,” Roger began to take a step away, but you caught him by the arm.

“Nothing good will come of it,” You murmured.

Roger sighed and nodded. With a sudden desperation, he tugged you into his chest. You buried your face into his warm skin, breathing in the smell of his shampoo and the crisp fall wind that still clung to him.

“It had gotten so unbearable not being with you that I thought I was better off with her,” He said, lips moving against the top of your head. You pulled away so you could see his face.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Roger gave you a crooked grin.

You loved that grin. That grin was _yours_. Anytime you made a bad joke or tripped over your own feet or got caught singing along to a Queen song in the car. That grin was for _you_.

“I didn’t want to risk this,” You murmured. “If the last few weeks have proven anything, it’s that I’m miserable without you.”

“You’re not alone in that,” Roger dropped his forehead to yours. “The risk part and the miserable part.”

“We’re idiots,” You laughed and your noses brushed against each other. Roger paused for a moment before pulling away and you began to frown until he cradled your face gently in his hands.

“I’m an idiot for not listening to you,” He said, his face serious. “You were only trying to protect me.”

“Not always an easy task, ya know?” You teased, eyes bright with amusement. “Between the crazy girlfriends and the fact that when you’re drunk your lighter seems to become a toy.”

“In my defense, I’ve only caught on fire the one time.”

“Yeah, and you looked good with singed hair anyway,” You smiled widely.

Roger returned it, his thumb rubbing over your cheekbone.

“You think I looked good?”

“You are an idiot,” You rolled your eyes. “But I’m probably the bigger one since I’m in love with you.”

Roger’s breath left in a huff, like someone had elbowed him in the stomach.

“You love me,” His voice was raspy, eyes wide and shining.

“I do,” You smiled and reached up to push your fingers through his hair, letting it sift through your fingertips as he stared at you.

“Well, that’s good to hear considering I’ve said it about ten times and you never said it back.”

You looked up at him. His face was a delicate shade of pink.

“Oh,” You mused. “I suppose we’re a little uneven.”

Roger grinned.

“I can think of a few ways that we can even out the sc-”

You kissed him. Gently and deeply while your hands were still in his hair and mid-sentence. Just like it was meant to be. He made a noise that was somewhere between a sigh and a moan that cut straight through you, making your toes curl.

His tongue traced over your bottom lip and your fingers tightened in his hair. Roger said your name softly, his lips still moving against yours. You pulled away just far enough so that you could look him in the eye.

“I love you Roger Meddows Taylor. Always have, always will.”

Roger groaned and pressed his mouth back to yours. This kiss was not gentle. It was hard and needy. It lit a match in you that burned brightly and hotly. You pulled at his hair and he moaned against you. Next to your name on his lips, that was your new favorite sound.

Your hands slid down his neck and over his chest, fingers toying with the buttons. As the two of you broke apart, lungs burning for oxygen, you flicked one of them open. You pressed a wet kiss to the center of Roger’s chest, eyelashes fluttering shut as his chin dropped to rest on the top of your head.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling you against him so snugly you almost couldn’t breathe for a moment. You let him hold you as you continued to pepper his chest and neck with kisses. As his hands moved lower on your waist to gently squeeze your ass, you let your teeth scrape over his skin.

“Fuck,” His head fell back and you took advantage of the newly exposed skin. You began to suck a mark just below his jaw, his whines making your thighs clench together.

“Roger,” Your voice was rough with need and your breath along his sensitive skin made him shiver.    

“Yes, lovie?”

You grinned against his neck.

“You sound so pretty half-wrecked when I’ve barely even touched you,” You whispered and pressed a soft kiss just below his ear. You ran your finger down his chest and he shuddered.

“Roger,” You repeated.

“What?” He was panting now, his jaw flexing and face flushed as he looked at you intently.

“What’s got you so worked up?” You popped the ‘p’ and grinned widely.

“Now, you’re just being an asshole,” Roger groaned.

You couldn’t help yourself then. Your trailed your mouth down his chest, teeth scraping over his sternum. You finished unfastening the last two buttons and tugged his shirt open.

“Hey,” Roger said, lips brushing over your temple.

“Hmm?” You hummed, moving to continue to your onslaught and drop to your knees. But he caught you by the shoulders.

“Hey,” He repeated, looking bemused.

“What?” Your eyebrows crinkled in confusion, lips tingling.

“We’re in no rush,” Roger murmured, bending his head to kiss your cheek sweetly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You took a deep breath in surprise, his words tugging your heartstrings taut and nearly painful.

“Promise?” Your eyes searched his even as they began to blur.

“I promise,” He said it immediately, his thumb swiping at your cheek as a tear spilled over.

“I missed you, Rog,” You whispered, hoping he couldn’t hear the hurt that still lingered in your tone. But because it was Roger, and because he knew you better than anyone, he heard it. And felt the resounding pang in his chest.

“I missed you too. So much,” Roger moved a piece of hair out of your face. He let out a heavy breath. “I meant it. I’ve been an idiot.”

“It’s okay,” You nodded. “We’re okay.”

The two of you held each other for a moment, foreheads pressed together and arms wrapped tightly around one another. You could feel his heart beat beneath your ear and it made you smile. You were both idiots, said things you shouldn’t have. Were stubborn when you should have given in. But you knew that heart and its rhythm, strong and steady.

Your pulse on the other hand was still erratic, your skin too hot. You glanced up at Roger through your eyelashes.  

“This is touching and all, but I really wanted to suck your dick.”

Roger snorted.

“What?” You grinned. “I’ve spent long enough wanting you.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Roger laughed softly.

“Good, we’ve done enough arguing for a lifetime,” You agreed, dropping to your knees lithely. You pressed a soft kiss to Roger’s stomach, nose pressed against the blonde hair, and heard Roger’s breath hitch.

“Is this alright?” You asked, looking up at him while you unfastened his belt.

“More than,” Roger managed a strained chuckle.

“You know, as someone who one summer during college shared a bedroom wall with you, I wouldn’t have thought you’d get flustered so easily,” You teased and popped open the button of his jeans.

“It’s never been you before.”

Your fingers nearly froze pulling down his zipper and you bit your lip.

“Such a sweet boy,” You shook your head in amazement and the action moved your lips just above the waistband of Roger’s boxers.

“Oh, fuck,” Roger choked out.

You had no doubt that the two of you were quite the image. You kneeling on your living room floor in front of Roger with his pants around his ankles.

God. You’d wanted this for so long.  

Roger’s cock was hard, outlined visibly in his dark boxers. You palmed it slowly as Roger groaned. His fingers pushed into your hair, trailing over your skin until he could gently pull it into his fist. Just as you squeezed him through the fabric, he gave a tentative pull.

You moaned loudly, head tilting to follow the motion.

“I always suspected you had a thing for hair pulling,” Roger said nonchalantly.

“Yeah?” You asked, tugging his boxers over his narrow hips and down his thighs. You let them land unceremoniously with his jeans.

“Mmhm-oh fuck.”

You licked a wide stripe on the underside of Roger’s cock, swirling your tongue as you reached the tip. You sucked him into your mouth, tasting his velvet skin and the salty-sweet that was Roger. Feeling him grow harder on your tongue, you groaned. The vibrations rippled through Roger and he cursed loudly, pulling your hair tightly.

You hollowed your cheeks as you took him deeper into your throat, eyes closing in pleasure at the feeling. You could hear your name falling from Roger’s lips over and over as you began to bob your head. His hands were in your hair and all over your face, stroking your cheek and brushing over your bottom lip.

“God, you look so good like this,” Roger groaned, his hips jerked as your tongue swiped over his tip. Your thighs squeezed together at his words and you were aching almost painfully. You shifted your weight on your knees and rest your hands on Roger’s thighs, scraping your nails gently down his skin.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck, wait,” Roger whined, his hand fisted your hair and pulled you off of him. You let him fall from your mouth and stared up at him.

Roger swallowed noticeably as you looked up at him, lips swollen and skin coated with a fine sheen of sweat.

“I don’t want to finish like this,” He said breathlessly, smiling. Roger helped you to your feet and his mouth was on yours as soon as it was within reach. You gripped his shirt tightly in your hands and held him against you, chests heaving.

“Kind of felt like you wanted to,” You mumbled against his lips and Roger pinched your hip.

“No, I want to be inside of you when I come,” He nibbled at your jaw. “Want to feel you around me.”

Your knees nearly buckled at Roger’s words and your fingers tightened on his shirt.  

“Jesus Christ, Roger,” You croaked.

“Two can play at that game,” He chuckled and licked a wet stripe down the side of your neck. You could feel his warm hands on your back, toying with the hem of your shirt.

“Take it off.”

“Always telling me what to do.”

“You like it.”

“I do,” Roger grinned and pulled your shirt over your head. As the fabric floated to the floor, Roger rest his hands on your waist, fingers brushing over your hip bones. You shivered despite the heat in the look he gave you. Roger’s blue eyes moved over your bare skin to your breasts.

“You’re gorgeous,” He whispered, he let a finger wander down your chest between the valley of your breasts and then down your stomach. You trembled as he slipped it into the waistband of your jeans and tugged your hips flush with his.

“I want you,” You gasped.

“I want you too,” Roger kissed you. “I want you so much, but-”

“But?” You said in surprise, your heart began to panic loudly in your ears.

“But,” Roger nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “We don’t have to do this tonight. I don’t want you to feel like it’s now or never.”

You face nearly hurt you smiled so wide.

“You’re the sweetest, you know that?”

“No, I’m not,” He tried to pout but failed terribly. “I’m a horribly tempered rockstar.”

“Mhmm,” You nodded patronizingly. “Take my pants off, rockstar.”

From there, it was a tangled flurry of limbs and articles of clothing as you stumbled down the hallway. Halfway there, you had to pause because your foot was stuck in your jeans. Both of you were giggling and panting, as you fell onto your bed.

Roger trailed his mouth wetly down your chest, pausing to kiss each of your breasts gently. He nuzzled his face into your warm and soft skin.

“God, you’re perfect,” He mumbled.

Roger licked over your nipple, flattening his tongue, before sucking it into his mouth.

“Fuck,” You moaned, back arching as you pulled him closer to you. Roger’s hand kneaded your other breast, finger tweaking the hardened bud. Your hips bucked against his, your underwear the only item of clothing left between the two of you.

“Roger.”

He looked up at you, the desperation in your voice evident.

“I need you,” You murmured, sweeping a hand through his hair and tugging at the ends lightly.

Roger grinned and crawled up toward you until his face hovered over yours.

“You, admitting that you need me? What kind of world is this?” He teasingly brushed his lips over yours.

You couldn’t help but close your eyes, the sensations and the feelings in your chest overwhelming you.

“A world where I love you too much for my own good,” You said softly, meaning it to sound lighthearted, but a tear still slipped down your cheek.

“Hey, hey, no more tears,” Roger was quick to kiss it away and lay his body over top of yours, the warmth of his skin soothing against yours.

“I don’t ever want this heart to hurt again,” He added, dropping his head to kiss your chest lightly, right where your heart pounded in your chest.

“Always been so sweet,” You murmured, hands wandering over his back. You rubbed his shoulders and let your fingers smooth over his jaw until you could bring his mouth back to yours. You kissed him hungrily, teeth nipping at his bottom lip. Roger’s hips pressed into yours and you could feel how hard he was against you and it warmed your whole body.

“I want you inside of me, now, please,” You panted, trying to shimmy out of your underwear.

Roger pushed himself up to his knees and helped you slide the fabric down your legs. He tossed them over his shoulder with a smile and kept your leg tight in his hand even as you went to move it. His blue eyes stayed on yours as he pressed a delicate kiss to your ankle.

A shudder slid down your spine all the way down until your toes curled, making Roger smile in amusement. It quickly turned to something more heated as he trailed his fingers from your ankle to behind your knee, squeezing softly.

“How have I ever been able to resist you?” His eyebrows came together in genuine confusion even as his mouth turned up in a warm smile.

“You did see me with braces. And my Elvis phase.”

Roger laughed and kissed the top of your thigh.

“Only rockstar I’ve ever been jealous of. You had his picture on your wall.”

You pushed yourself to your elbow and grinned widely.

“But look who stuck it out,” You nodded your head to the side and Roger looked over to your nightstand. A framed photo of you and Roger sat there, arms wrapped around each other and smiles bright with youth.

Roger’s lips moved to your inner thigh.

“It’s always been you, lovie.”

He glanced up one more time, eyes searching for permission and as soon as you nodded, he pressed his face between your legs. His tongue moved slowly, savoring the taste of you and the breathiness of your moans, as he licked your slick folds.

Your heels dug into the mattress as your back arched. It was impossible to remain still as the pleasure began to build. Roger’s name fell off your lips repeatedly, growing in tempo the same as his movements.

“Roger,” Your voice was tight and you pulled at his hair. He whined as he removed his mouth from you and you clenched hotly at the sight of his glistening chin.

“Please,” You begged breathlessly.

Time seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time. Roger’s mouth crashing into yours, still tasting of you as your tongue swept over his. His hands sweeping down over your breasts and your stomach and lower still, pressing a finger inside of you.

Your breath hitched as he curled it against you. Your fingernails dug into Roger’s shoulders and his eyes searched your face, only finding a sweet smile before you brought his mouth back to yours. It was breathless and needy and you could feel the sweat beginning to coat your skin.

It was hot. Too hot. Your skin burned where Roger touched it and his face was glowing and warm when his cheek pressed against yours. You moaned loudly as he kissed you below your ear, hips jumping to meet the timing of his finger.

And then he was inside you. Time slowed as the two of you connected, hips flush and Roger’s face buried into your neck.

“Oh, god,” He managed, his voice weak and his breath heavy. Your fingers smoothed over his shoulders and into the damp strands of hair at the base of his neck. You hadn’t quite found words yet so you hummed in agreement.

Neither of you moved, content to feel each other’s heartbeats settle into a less frantic rhythm. You were helpless to the euphoria that was flooding your veins.

“I love you.”

_There were the words_.

Roger’s breath was shaky as against your neck at your words. Your fingers moved to massage his hips in slow, tantalizing circles and he groaned, pushing himself to his elbows. The movement stirred him inside of you and both of you made noises of surprise, a new wave of desire crashing over the two of you.

“Can I-”

“Yes, god, yes.”

Roger pulled out only to thrust deeply back into you, making your breath hitch. Roger’s nose brushed against yours, lips missing as the two of you moved together. Roger finally caught you by the chin and devoured your mouth. Oxygen became less important as his kisses turned desperate. All that mattered was you and Roger.

“I’m so close,” You had to pull away as the words tumbled out.

“Me too, baby, me too.”

As Roger continued to press into you, you shifted your leg to rest against his hip, allowing him to slide deeper into you.

“Fuck,” Roger croaked.

The waves of frenzied joy continued to build as you lifted your hips to meet his. As you did so, your calf began to cramp.

“Oh!”

“It’s okay, come for me,” Roger whispered hotly.

“No, no. My leg is cramping,” You laughed loudly and breathlessly and it made Roger nearly stop in his motions as he joined in, giggling as his forehead pressed against yours. Reaching back behind him blindly, Roger found your calf muscle and pressed his fingers to it.

“Better?” He smiled.

You adjusted underneath him and nodded.

“Yeah, that’s the spot,” You sighed.

“ _That’s_ the spot?” Roger wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and the two of you dissolved into another fit of laughter.

“This isn’t how I imagined this going,” You pushed Roger’s hair out of his face, fingers lingering in the long strands.

“Really? This is _exactly_ how I imagined it,” Roger kissed the tip of your nose.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Anyone can do sweaty and sticky. But laughing while fucking? That’s friendship.”

“Roger!”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“Fine, you’re right. Now, kiss me.”

“So bossy,” Roger mumbled against your mouth, echoing his words from earlier.

“Let you be on top, didn’t I?” Came your quick reply along with the snap of your hips, setting Roger’s back into motion.

The two of you found your rhythm as quickly as you lost it. But that was you and Roger.

_____________

You were back at the bar where it all began. Freddie and Ted sat beside you, faces close together as they talked quietly. You smiled at them fondly, happy to be left alone with your own thoughts.

Your morning began with Roger’s arm wrapped tightly around your waist and his mumble against your shoulder that next time you were staying at his place because he had better cereal options. You were quick to distract him from his breakfast dilemma when you rolled over and straddled his hips. Your morning ended still in bed, but this time you were draped over Roger’s chest and muttering that you needed nourishment if the two of you were going to carry on at that pace.

That’s what led the two of you to the bar, where french fries, friends, and booze could be found in plenty.

You jumped when an arm wrapped around your shoulder.

“Miss me?” Roger asked, lips pressing against your cheek before he sat on the barstool next to you.

“The whole minute and a half you were gone to get my drink?” You asked, taking the tumbler of vodka he handed you and taking a small sip.

“Oh, I assumed now that we were a couple you couldn’t go a second without my love and affection.”

“Ahh,” You grinned and rest your cheek in your hand. “You know, the last time we were here, I hated your guts.”

“It’s a thin line between love and hate,” Freddie called out gleefully while Ted beamed at the two of you.

You rolled your eyes and nodded along. But Roger was quick to catch you by the chin and press a soft kiss to your lips.

“The man’s right, lovie,” Roger grinned widely. “Don’t you know love and hate are both four letter words?”

 


End file.
